*for best results, scroll to the video and press play. listen to song while reading the entry. this one is just a song; there's no video to go with it.
First-- A poem from January. You might remember it. This version is slightly edited.
I have met so many girls
with fast laughs and careful smiles
who've known you far too long
whose tired eyes would do
so much better
This, we have in common.
T and I broke up yesterday. It started Wednesday morning when I was walking her to work and I made one of my brilliant "here'ssomethingcasualthatactuallymeanslots" comments about how I could, you know, really get used to this. Then Saturday night at Sin City (there's an entry coming about how all my relationships in Wales have seemed to start or end at Sin City) she writes me a note on her phone about "I think I'm falling for you way too fast."
I think Pantera's "Walk" was playing in the background at the time.
So she came over to mine yesrafternoon, dodged the crowds of baby-dedicators and we hashed things out in my room. It was either going to suck a lot now or suck a lot in a few months; selfishly enough I would have preferred the latter. Because then all the leaving-related-angst could be packed up into one misty-eyed suitcase, i could write a note on the airplane and mail it as soon as I got back. But the intervening months, helping me pack, scribble goodbyes, those would have been hell on her.
So I guess I'm taking this one in lumps.
long. fucking. sigh.