Friday, 2 September 2011

Field of Memes

or RobotmonkeybadgerninjaBACONLOLZ

When the robots finally come for you,
probe you with lasers and stick needles
in you and look nothing like R2 d2 Or
the giant bugs from the Matrix
you, for one, will not be pleased to
welcome your new robot masters,
you will be crying and blubbering
And it will totally compute.

And I've seen you play baseball--
the Zombie apocalypse will not be
"awesome"
you will get your face ripped off.
not awesome.

Because the vampires were to be expected,
always a compendium of handsome assholes,
just enough gore and guts to grab the guys, too,
and werewolves have always been a bit goofy,
a metaphor for alcoholism or whatever.
but
seriously
really
literally
inserting "monkeys"
is not
random
that isn't what it means.

I get it-- I'm late to the joke, late to the disdainparty
and the subsequent "What does this say about our SOCIETY"
blog posts by people for whom pop culture is not a relevant
reference point, it is
their ONLY reference point-
so wear your
owldolphin sweatshirt
while eating chocolate bacon,
posting funny cat pics,
while reading Gorilla Vs. Bear
and naming your band
Badger Shark
but when the jokes
run out
and you have to go outside
and you wonder
why
nothing feels good
it's because you've finally done it.
you've really, finally, truly done it.


you've even ruined
animals.

3 comments:

Jake Tucker said...

Well done sir. You can lose the "like a bitch" and still have a snarky and effective peace.

graham said...

I replaced it with a joke about the Zombie Apocalypse. For a morning-musing, I am happy with this piece, but it'll go through the ringer again.


also, I added a great David Stone pun to the tags.

Lizzie W said...

I just read Field of Memes on your blog. ROBOTS! ZOMBIES! ANIMAL SWEATERS! It's like your describing my life, Graham... and that's probably a bad thing.

I have one point to add. I disagree with the part about getting my face ripped off in a zombie apocalypse. I have blonde hair, so I'll be the one with the shotgun. (I guess most blondes who read it will feel the same way).

Also (RE:) your FB comment... I'll have to practice running and all that? Well that's just too much effort, now. I think I'll take my chances with getting my face ripped off....

Also, you should whack this poem next to Zombies and Paint thinner, because, y'know... ZOMBIES!