1. That was a huge pterodactyl. Don’t worry about it. It was flying low like crashing airplanes, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. The National Guard is being mobilized. So let’s talk about something else. The weather—it is finally starting to feel like spring. The flowers are coming out, isn’t that nice? Thought I couldn’t see the sun today, beneath those wings. It was nice to get some shade, let’s think about that. Be positive. Good vibes. I think it’s headed for the daycare down on 42nd.
2. Please buy at the pharmacy:
Dog treats (if they have them),
Shaving cream (not to be confused with other creams),
Garbage bags (I think?),
More ointments (you know),
Pills (the other type.)
Thanks! See you next week,__________
3. Tell me using only hand motions. Tell me using only eyelid battings. Tell me using only frankincense and myrrh. Tell me using the medium of dance. Tell me using only painstakingly prepared food, like a woman in an award-winning film. Too bad about my limited palette. Tell me using only the simple honesty of rock and roll, like a boy from a small town with an underappreciated music scene. What’s with the goofy clothes, though? Tell me using only tanned leather. Tell me using only instagram. Tell me using only polaroid. That fence could be anywhere. Why the hell is there a kfc cup on the ground? Why are all these pictures so blurry, and of cracked walls? Your urban decay is meaningless to me without a witty caption.
4. After all is said and done, it must be acknowledged that we could have done more to stop this, but no one wanted to be an asshole.