Showing posts with label reviewing the reviewers in their sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reviewing the reviewers in their sleep. Show all posts

Friday, 28 April 2017

28/30: Anthropomorphy Now!


A pitch for a film about the  emotional lives of dead skin flakes.
Their tremendous journey from scalp to pillowcase with the vocal
talents  of Emma Stone and Aziz Ansari.
(or possibly Katherine Heigl, if she’s free and it’s comeback time)

A working outline for a novel about a melancholy espresso machine
waiting for a love that never comes, but never the less learning
to take satisfaction in the steam.
(a story for our times!)

A storyboard for a graphic novel about the half lives of
T-shirts, many pen and pencil close ups of weeping threads.
“Why doesn’t he wear me any more?”
(“Same” posts the heartbroken college girl)

A premise for a short story about the sexual predilictions
of floorboards. The whole thing is "wood" puns.
(Hint: it totally gets published, your dumb
thing doesn't)

A draft of a poem about door knobs. What hands have held them?
How have they turned? What fluids have dribbled down their
supple curves? What slight wrist turns? What pushes on their
shiny
nubile
frame?
Oh, knobby, knobby, knobby.
(This is the entire poem, actually)

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Raging gracefully

I have, upon much consideration, changed the title of this blog to one that didn't involve a pun about corpse-fucking. I'm not sold on "thats no way to make friends" as a blog title, but I like it as the title of SOMETHING, so here it is for now.

The new Nacho Picasso record is even better than the last two, and it all moves a little bit tighter. If you see me wandering around hillman, lake city muttering kicking down windows, high on cocaine! you can blame Seattle's burgeoning prominence on the national hip hop scene, and remember that singing it is probably better than doing it.

Feeling angry? Unsatisfied with the current level of critical discourse? Witness the usual mix of incisive verbosity and lowbrow brutality in Andrew Falkous' evisceration of a music reviewer. Granted, Falco is (as usual) a little bit tough on the lad-- it's a thankless job, I know-- but by and large he had it coming.