So much for Orthodoxy:

And it came to pass that years after the words had stopped being heeded the united council of Rev. Graham and the Isaacs decided on a newer, sleeker, more relevant word, and thus, out of such academic turmoil was born This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: New Revised Standard Edtition
The Epistles:

1.Taylor
2.Drive
3.In Beth's Cafe
4.Dried Insect, Collected
5.Swim Team
6.Pink Laces and Kierkegaard
8.For Chad and Jason
9.Drinking Age
10.Performance Heartbreak
11.Pack Mentality and Your Tenderloins
12.This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
13.The Future According to Johnny Quest
14.We Are the Weird Cousins
15.Caleb Barber Loses His Teeth to Meth
16.Deliberate
17.Homemade Cape
18.Drag and Save
19.The Day After Thanksgiving
20.Just As Well, She Said
21.Like Taking Communion
22.Somewhere in Colorado

The rest are destined for apocryphal status.