Sunday, 2 April 2017

2/30: All Hail the Brilliant Comedian!

It was first rumored

in whispers, in

a youtube clip, of them eating

soup from a can, sitting on
a couch in an apartment.
The brilliant comedian
would return.

All hail  the brilliant comedian!

The brilliant comedian has been
gone too long, In the time before
The brilliant comedian told it like it was,
per haps now, they could tell it like it

The brilliant comedian is the first to admit
That the brilliant comedian isn’t always
        And doesn’t really like the term “comedian.”
But does come from a proud tradition of Brilliant Comedians
Who tell, or have told, it like it is,  or was, or would eventually be.
The brilliant comedian slyly shuts down
Hecklers and holds the microphone like a magic
Wand. the brilliant comedian knows the exact
Height of mount everest and the mileage of
The great barrier reef, appropos to

The brilliant comedian is not perfect, they assure
You, and a tale of collegiate malfeasance emerges.
The brilliant comedian just moved to L.A. and L.A.
Is weird, they’re more used to
New York, but spent summers at their
Uncle’s place in Dayton, so they are a regular American
At heart. The brilliant comedian is just like you

                                                                                            Or me.
The brilliant comedian starts and ends their story
At the same yet opposite place,
You feel your mind blowing.

The brilliant comedian is glad there was no
Twitter in the ‘90s, because HOOO BOY.
The brilliant comedian skewers BOTH sides
Of the aisle, spent two whole specials mocking
The right and the left as craven idiot fart-liars and was flabbergasted
That the US elected Donald Trump.

The brilliant comedian addresses racism
By talking about the time they dated a Black Guy
And their ex got so jealous, by mocking rednecks
And adopting an exaggerated southern accent.
The brilliant comedian addresses homophobia
By saying that the idea of a God is stupid, have you
Seen traffic in this town? What God would allow that?
By mocking rednecks and adopting an exaggerated
Southern accent. The brilliant comedian is going to wait
A year or two more on the “trans thing”
After all, they wouldn’t want to have to change their jokes.

The brilliant comedian does not hate women, how could
You say that? Have you not heard their bit about eating pussy?
The brilliant comedian once or twice has said Terrible Things
In order to make a point, to a rapt and attentive audience

So now those Terrible Things are okay to say anywhere, to anyone
At any time, for any reason, even-- especially-- to strangers.  
It is hard to forgive the Brilliant Comedian for this.

The brilliant comedian IS brilliant, phrases that were references
To their routines are now just part of language, ways of thinking
About complexities into everyday talk, and when you were
Counting the packets of ramen in the glorified flop house
Two hours from your part time job, the brilliant comedian’s
Wide eyed cynicism helped keep you tough, helped you think that
Maybe all the divvied up oatmeal and bad gut from frozen
Pizzas and poverty and struggle-- even at your age-- might not be a waste
And when you were heartbroken and ugly and no one
Loved you, the brilliant comedian
                    Made you laugh.
Which is why you still need the brilliant comedian,
And resent that they refuse to keep growing, or that
Their wounded hope has turned to casual callous.

The brilliant comedian may or may not justify
Your love, eventually, again, or not, either way
They’ll get a mountain for their memoirs,

After all, they’re brilliant.

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